A Second Chance
by vakarianghost
Summary: When Noah Shepard wakes up after her victory against the Reapers, she finds her memory of the last four years gone. Garrus would do whatever it takes for her to regain her memory, even if that means burning a few bridges and making his mate relive all her painful years. Rated M for future angst, violence, sexual content, and language.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: A few ME3 ending headcanons: Noah Shepard is a paragon adept who chose to destroy the Reapers. Not all Reaper-based technologies and synthetic life were destroyed (heavily damaged, but salvageable). The Normandy did not land on a deserted tropical planet, but another planet in the local cluster._

* * *

"How is she?"

Garrus looked up from the datapad in his hand, eyes strained from the bright charts and numbers on the screen. How could he answer? He glanced to the occupied bed beside him, numerous cords and machines enclosing the unconscious patient. The constant, artificial beeping indicative of a heartbeat and the slow hiss of air pumps all pointed to the same answer.

"The same," he sighed, rubbing the plates of his face, "The doctors keep saying _no news is good news_ , but I never understood that one."

Liara, whose features were as flawless as the time before the war, offered a weary smile. Garrus mentally cursed the near immortality of the asari – their understanding of death was less finite. "Did Shepard ever tell you the one…" she began to ask, walking up to the side of the bed. Her eyes glossed over as she saw Shepard's heavily scarred and bandaged face. It was hard to look at.

"A watched pot never boils."

"I don't like the sound of that one," he muttered, reaching forward to gently brush his talons over Shepard's hand, "Are you asking me to leave her?"

The young archeologist shook her head, turning away to pick up the chart at the foot of the bed. "It's been almost three months, Garrus. I have yet to see you outside this room," she said softly, "Your family is worried. _We're_ worried."

His subharmonics emitted a low croon of guilt as he asked, "What would I do if she woke up and I wasn't here?"

"You would come back," she answered, "Shepard would understand. She wouldn't want you here, neglecting your duties."

Garrus was silent as he looked over Shepard's broken body. With her cybernetics offline, what would have been healed in just a few days or weeks was taking months. Ribs and limbs were broken, skin was burned, lungs were punctured, and her long dark locks Garrus came to love was shaven off to treat cranial injury. It was a wonder that she was even alive at all.

"You're right," he accepted, "She would want me off my scaly ass and helping with the reconstruction effort."

Liara set the clipboard back down and smiled to her teammate, "I am glad that you understand. We would really benefit from your help. You were her second in command after all." She placed a hand on Shepard's shoulder and whispered, "May the Goddess be with you, Shepard."

With a grunt and several joints creaking in protest, Garrus got up from his chair. "Give me a minute?" he asked, mandibles fluttering anxiously.

Nodding, the asari quietly left, granting him the privacy he needed. Garrus stood over Shepard's bed, trying his best to ignore the incessant beeping of the useless monitors.

He was trying his best to see Shepard as _his_ Shepard, not as the mangled body that was in front of him.

"Shepard—"

He cleared his throat and glanced to the empty hall outside the door.

"Noah," he said, his vocals softer and lower, the voice reserved for her alone, "If you can hear me, please, come back."

As gingerly as he could, he held one of Shepard's hands in his. A familiar pain returned to his chest, causing his subharmonics to sound again.

Garrus tried to rationalize leaving his mate's side, for his turian instinct was to wait until she was back on her feet. "Remember when I wanted nothing more than to work solo?" he asked, "Joining the Normandy was just a means to an end. But damn, you humans are hard to ignore.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is… I need you back here, with me. I'm lost without you, Noah. So please, wake up."

His mandibles flared in a weak smile as he adjusted the blanket on her body, "But try to when I'm here, okay?"

After a quick check on her vitals, Garrus gathered his things and left, the first time in three months.

* * *

 _It was dark._

 _The tarlike blackness was overwhelming, swallowing everything whole. Shepard felt herself sink, her lungs filling and choking her. As she was drowning, a small light in the distance caught her attention. It began to grow, blinding white light enveloping the darkness._

 _But as the light approached, Shepard's ears started to ring. The quiet buzzing turned into a loud horn, painful and debilitating. Shepard pulled at her hair in an attempt to dull the pain, but it only caused the sound to get louder._

 _It was bright._

 _The light was accompanied by a voice. A voice that belonged to an old, almost forgotten enemy: Saren._

" ** _You have failed_** _," the voice boomed._

 _Shepard doubled over, vomiting blood that immediately stained the white of her surroundings. "_ ** _You have failed everyone_** _," the voice taunted again, "_ ** _Your choice to destroy has brought much more than victory. You are the harbinger of destruction, of suffering, of death_** _—"_

" _I did what had to be done," Shepard opposed, lifting her head to find the source of the voice, "I destroyed the Reapers. I saved the galaxy."_

" ** _And how many lives were lost to accomplish your goal? What are the consequences of your decision to destroy? You have failed._** _"_

 _The red of her blood soaked through the rest of the space, the putrid stench burning her senses. The scream of a Reaper reverberated from Shepard's core._

" ** _You have sacrificed races for a cause you deemed paramount! You destroyed centuries of progress for your cause!_** _"_

 _Shepard yelled, but the sound that left her lips was not her own. Another Reaper scream._

" ** _You are no different than the Reapers! You were playing god!_** _"_

 _Her cybernetics whirred and creaked, growing under her skin and ripping through. She was becoming a husk, a shell of her former self. Her certainty was replaced with shame and regret over her decisions. She began to question every mission, every choice._

 _Commander Noah Shepard was dead, bringing the galaxy down with her. She wanted nothing more than to start over, to wipe the slate clean._

 _She was drowning in her own blood._

And she screamed.

* * *

Garrus lowered the volume of his visor, flinching as Tali's mouth continued to run at supersonic speeds. "Tali," he tried to calm her, "Could you repeat that, well, the whole thing? And try to talk at a speed the translator will recognize."

Tali sighed audibly, her enviro-suit picking up the noise. "Shepard is _awake_ ," she repeated, "She's _been_ awake."

"That's impossible – I would have heard," he said, more to himself than to Tali. A low growl was forming in his throat. "How long?" he asked, shutting off the monitors he was working with. He was already calculating the soonest he could catch a shuttle to London.

"Apparently she ordered the clinic not to alert anyone. Liara was only able to find out after doing a sweep of their systems—" she rattled off.

"Spirits! How long?"

Tali's voice feed was silent for a few seconds before she answered meekly, "Two weeks."

His blood began to boil and his pupils retracted to pin hole dots. In a haze, he grabbed as much of his work as possible before storming out of the door. "I was supposed to be contacted as soon as she woke up," he snapped. A few heads turned his way. He tried to control his voice, "What aren't you telling me?"

"Garrus, I…" He could practically imagine her fretting with her hands as she tried to formulate her words. "There was a name on her visitor log just three days after she woke up," she admitted, "Kaidan. And he's still with her."

"That makes no sense. He's supposed to be leading the relief effort in Canada," he replied, feeling his scales begin to itch. Something wasn't right.

Garrus made his way through the makeshift command center, dodging piles of rubble and occupied tents. Though the Reapers were destroyed months ago, the damage they caused was unavoidable. The sky still radiated red with pollution and ash in the air. Unstable buildings were being demolished and the beginnings of new ones were just taking shape. Only a couple of mass relays were salvageable and fixed, but the remainder were still out of order.

The death toll was still rising on planets that couldn't manage sustainability without constant trade. Communications were spotty, but at least now, calls could be made in the same orbit. All of Shepard's team remained on Earth, in constant coordination with militia and political leaders.

"It's going to take me half a day to reach London," Garrus said, waving down a shuttle pilot at the dock, "Where are you? Still in Malaysia? You should be able to get there before me—"

Tali cursed under her breath, but her enviro-suit amplified the sound. "Something happened, Garrus. Shepard isn't herself," she said, stopping him in his tracks, "Her memory suffered."

The pit in his stomach grew and his fringe flattened back. "How much did she lose?" he asked. Amnesia wasn't unheard of among injured veterans, and the therapy to revert it was close to perfect. All they would need is time.

"Four years."

 _Four years._

Garrus slowly came to a stop, just a few feet from the shuttle's door. The turian pilot, who was in the middle of a routine check of his engines, immediately looked up when he heard the grief emanating from his passenger. The turians in the vicinity all turned towards the mournful sound, and a chorus of empathy followed, all unheard by the human ear.

 _Four years._

So much had happened in four years. Garrus couldn't fathom the amount of relearning Shepard would have to go through. He couldn't bring himself to move into the shuttle waiting for him.

 _Four years._

It was like losing Shepard all over again. It wasn't until after her death and after Horizon that they got together. Four years of slow growing, patient love and understanding were now gone.

 _Four years._

"Sir, will we be departing?"

Garrus looked up to the pilot, just now noticing that Tali was still talking on his visor. He ended the call abruptly, empty gaze on the pilot. "Y-Yes," he answered, forcing his feet to move forward, "To London."

As he settled into his seat, strapping himself in, hesitance began to grow. One thing was certain: with four years of memory gone, Shepard would not see Garrus the same way he did her. And knowing that broke his heart.

With Shepard's current state, what right did he have to visit her? She closed herself off, only notifying Kaidan—

 _Four years._

Garrus' fist flew awry, beating against the hull of the shuttle. "That bastard," he snarled, finally connecting the dots, "That fucking bastard!"

He unlatched his harness and paced the length of the shuttle, distant memories of Kaidan and Shepard together fueling his anger and sense of betrayal. His talons dug into the hide of his palms, beads of blood dripping down. Kaidan didn't bother notifying Garrus of Shepard's condition and, spirits help him, he wasn't going to allow the human to forget it.


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: Hello! Hopefully you won't have to wait another two years for the next chapter! So, Kaidan and Shepard's relationship began before the events of Mass Effect, but don't worry – this is a Shakarian story through and through. Please enjoy and totally write in your opinions and what you want to see in future chapters! You can also request your own drabble on my tumblr (link in bio)._

* * *

 _"We recommend a gradual reintroduction to prevent shock."_

 _Kaidan stood outside Shepard's room, separated by a glass wall and heavy curtain. His stance was steady, but his eyes betrayed his concern. "Am I supposed to pretend that the last four years never happened?" he asked, biting the inside of his cheek._

 _The human doctor, accompanied by a salarian specialist and military official, shook his head. "Not at all," he answered, "In fact, Shepard is already aware of how much time has passed. We are planning to fill in the blanks of her memory during our cognitive therapy sessions."_

 _"We have our best therapists, psychiatrists, and physical trainers on call for the Commander. She is in good hands. Full recovery is expected in just a few months," the salarian piped up, passing a datapad to Kaidan._

 _As he tapped the screen, a detailed time table appeared. Shepard's rehabilitation was scheduled down to the second. Kaidan couldn't help but laugh as he returned the datapad. If there was one thing he knew about the Commander, it was that she never followed expectations._

 _"So, why am I here?" the Spectre asked, "I know she asked for me, but I'm not her guardian or I.C.E." He had half the mind to ask when Garrus was arriving._

 _"We…understand that you no longer are involved with the Commander," the military official said, clearing the back of his throat at the mention of their past high profile relationship, "But the Alliance believes it best for you to oversee her recovery and to report her progress."_

 _It wasn't hard to read between the lines. Shepard, now a hero, was wanted by the Alliance. She was no more than a pawn, a figurehead for political leverage._

 _Kaidan knew where his loyalties lied, and it was with Shepard. "I am sure the good doctor here," he smiled, motioning to him, "Will gladly forward his findings to the rest of the new Council." Diplomacy was necessary for survival, and withholding information from the other species was not the way to do it._

 _Before the official could protest, the doctor cleared his throat. "In any case, the Commander asked for you alone. While she may see you in a past light, we would still appreciate your cooperation in her recovery. A friendly face could go a long way."_

 _"We have given the Commander a timeline of the past four years. She understands her situation and has asked for you to be her temporary guardian during this time," the salarian added, large black eyes unblinking, "It is up to you how to fill that role."_

* * *

Kaidan's mind drifted as he recalled the first meeting with Shepard's doctors. He was as confused as when he first arrived, torn between the Shepard he knew and the one before him.

"What's on your mind?"

His train of thought was interrupted at the sound of Shepard's voice. He couldn't help but notice the added softness in her tone, a sound he missed since their frigid encounter on Horizon.

Turning off the datapad in his lap, Kaidan forced a smile. "Sorry – there's a lot on my plate," he answered, looking up to her.

Shepard was still bedridden, but was finally able to sit up and breathe on her own. The bruising on her face finally cleared and a few of her casts were removed. "Anything I can help with?" she asked, opening her hand out for his.

It alarmed him how easy it was to return the intimate gesture, and Kaidan had to ignore the response to recoil. "You deserve a break. Don't worry about it."

Shepard absentmindedly ran her thumb back and forth along his palm. Her eyes strayed over the changes in his face, the wrinkles and scars she didn't remember him having. "How can I not?" she frowned slightly, "Just yesterday we touched down on Eden Prime. I wake up, four years have passed, and the Reapers are destroyed. I can't even imagine what's going on in your head."

Withdrawing his hand, and catching the hurt expression behind her seemingly passive eyes, he rubbed the side of his face and shook his head. "I don't know what to say to you, Shepard," he admitted, "Too many things have changed between us for me to sit here and not… _question_ everything."

"You mean, after what happened on Horizon," she said flatly. It was hard for her to understand what had transpired, how their relationship had turned so _sour_. Kaidan was being transparent about _everything_ , from his past distrust to outright damning reaction of Shepard's association with Cerberus. But how was Shepard expected to hold the same feelings when the memories weren't there?

"There are things I regret, but I wouldn't use this as a chance to change them," he said solemnly, "I owe it to you not to."

Shepard pursed her lips, feeling as if her pride had been hurt in some odd way. "I guess I should thank you then…on behalf of my memory," she said, masking the bitterness in her voice with her usual, self-deprecating humor.

Kaidan was about to call her out on it before the glass door swung open. "Excuse me," a flustered human nurse stammered, "There is a Mister Vakarian here for you, Commander Shepard. W-We tried to tell him that visitors are, um – inadmissible—"

"He can come in," she interrupted, holding up a steady and silencing hand, "I give him clearance."

The nurse winced as yelling was heard from the hall. "I do not think it wise for you to see him in your state," she advised, tapping her fingers on her clipboard.

"I don't see why not."

"Commander—"

Kaidan stood from his chair. "I'll go talk to him," he resolved, already heading towards the door. The nurse seemed content with this compromise and left ahead of him. "I'll try to clear this up," he assured to Shepard, lingering at the door.

He caught the small smile on her lips as she nodded, "Thanks, Kaidan."

* * *

The hospital lobby was in chaos. A large group of nurses and guards alike were surrounding the unwelcomed threat that demanded to see the off-limits Commander.

"Vakarian! Garrus Vakarian!" he shouted on deaf ears, "I'm her guardian—"

Kaidan took a moment to look over the scene. It had been months since he saw the turian, but time had not changed him as much as the other team members. He still had the same piercing eyes and demanding presence, just by height and looks alone. But his voice had a new edge to it, one that Kaidan couldn't quite place.

The other turians knew exactly what it was and it caused their insides to churn, forcing them to leave the room. It was the sound of a desperate, grieving mate.

The Spectre stepped forward and shouted his name above the noise.

Almost immediately, chestnut browns clashed with icy blues as Garrus turned his head. The turian balled his hands into tight fists, his teeth gnashing as he registered the human in his sights.

" _You_ —" he accused, pointing a sharpened talon at Kaidan's direction. His voice was enough to part the sea of people, opening a path for him to cross in just a few long strides.

Kaidan couldn't get in another word before he was shoved up against the nearest wall. The back of his head hit the crude concrete as a sudden weight pressed on his chest and lifted him up off the ground. On reflex, he reached forward to grab hold of the hands that seized him.

Even though his translator was overwhelmed with subharmonic static, Garrus' message was loud and clear.

"Major Alenko!" a heavily armed guard called out. She raised her gun, ignorant to whom she was actually pointing to. "Step away from the Major, sir!"

The situation was getting out of hand. Kaidan took a deep breath and said firmly, "There's no need, Lieutenant. Stand down." As the cautious guard followed the direct order, Kaidan, painfully aware of how his feet barely touched the floor, turned his gaze to Garrus. "I know you have questions. I know you want to see Shepard. And I know you probably want to rip my head off," he strained to say, "But let's take this out of the hospital lobby."

"There is no excuse for this to happen," Garrus said through grit teeth, "You should have called the moment she woke up. But I learn about Shepard through the grapes?"

"Grape _vine_ ," he corrected lightly, hoping to ease the tension, "I know, there is no excuse. But the doctors strongly advised against it. I had to think about Shepard's health first."

There was a long moment of silence, the tension heavy between them. There was a nagging voice in the back of Garrus' head – Shepard's voice – telling him that Kaidan was right. His grip tightened before he finally let go, and the entire hospital lobby sighed in relief.

"Fine. Let's talk."

* * *

Garrus didn't know if he felt better or worse after learning about Shepard's situation. To hear that she would recover in just a few months was the only thing lessening the blow. "She asked you to be her temporary guardian," he reiterated, crossing his arms and leaning against the hospital wall. They had moved outside into a makeshift courtyard to escape suspicious eyes.

Kaidan stood a few feet away. "If she didn't ask me _not_ to contact anyone, you know I would have called you," he defended, "She was going in and out. I thought it was for the best."

"And the Alliance is still trying to take the first claim."

In truth, almost everyone wanted Shepard in their good graces. She defeated the Reapers. Saved the world. There were paparazzi, government officials, and rabid fans always trying to sneak into her wing of the hospital. Never mind the fact that she almost _died_.

"It's a delicate situation," he settled on.

Garrus shifted his weight to turn towards the human. Ever since he heard the news, there was a lingering question he was almost afraid to ask.

 _Does she remember…us?_

"So, what's the plan?" he asked instead, the rational part of his mind taking over. It was easier for him to compartmentalize the sorrow, rage, and guilt he felt.

"Shepard will be released after a few more months of observation. The doctors are mostly worried about her offline cybernetics and Cerberus L5 implants," he answered, furrowing his brow as he tried to recall everything he was told, "Once those are signed off and her psych evaluation clears, she'll be ready to go. Physical therapy will continue independently."

"And what about her amnesia?"

"That…depends on how she progresses. She's in cognitive therapy now, but her memory will have to come back on its own." Kaidan smiled softly as he looked down to his feet, "And you know the Commander. She'll beat this too."

The sun was beginning to set, the temperature noticeably cooler than when they first stepped out. Family and friends of patients were starting to trickle out of the hospital as visiting hours ended.

"She gave you clearance," Kaidan spoke up, "You can visit her any time." He quickly checked his omni-tool, bringing up Shepard's schedule and forwarded it to Garrus. "Just, try not to come after her physical therapy sessions. She can get a little testy after those."

The quiet ping on his headset alerted him that the message had been received. "Thanks," he said, mandibles fluttering, "And sorry for, well, manhandling you back there. When it comes to Shepard…I—"

"Don't worry about it. I would have acted the same if I were in your shoes."

They made their way to the rapid transit, Garrus already punching in his credit chit through his omni-tool. "The Council offered Shepard an apartment downtown. I guess it's time to finally call the favor in," he thought out loud, "Get it set up and research the area before her release."

"I'll tell her. I'm sure she'll appreciate it," Kaidan said as a taxi came driving up to the terminal. The automatic door hissed open, and as the turian began to step inside, Kaidan spoke quickly, "Garrus, she'll get better. She'll be back before you know it."

His reassurances always seemed to have a reverse intended effect, even during their days on the Normandy SR-1. Garrus never quite understood why that happened, but it always led him to feel a bit of distrust in the human. Instead of questioning it, he muttered a brief goodbye, fixed the apartment's coordinates into the navigation system, and left.


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: If the timeline is a little confusing: Shepard wakes up in 2187 and lost the last four years (which starts at 2183, right after the events on Therum). If you want to see any plot points or characters in a future chapter, send me a message C:_

* * *

" _No! I won't abandon the Normandy! I can still save her!"_

" _The Normany's lost. Going down with the ship won't change that."_

 _Shepard opened her eyes, but the only thing she saw was darkness. She heard voices ringing in her ear, distorted under the pressure building in her head._

 _A sudden, bright light came into view, momentarily blinding her. Just as her eyes began to focus, the light disappeared. Shepard tried to run her hands over her face, but was stopped short by the helmet she had on._

" _Commander! Shepard!"_

 _Another flash of light beamed through her visor and a loud crack penetrated the glass. The air in her suit began to hiss out. It was cold. Freezing._

 _Shepard made a futile attempt to close the breech, but her body refused to move. Her limbs felt like they were stuck in tar. Her muscles ached in protest. Her lungs burned in starvation._

 _In the back of her mind, she knew she was dying. It was like watching a vid she had already seen. She felt the impending doom creeping in. Panic began to rise._

 _Her heart seemed to beat out of her chest. Her suit, which was meant to protect, was becoming her coffin._

Just before the walls closed in, Shepard woke up with a start.

"It was just a dream," she told herself, wiping the sweat off her brow, "Pull yourself together."

The lamp beside her bed was left on, something she never used to do. But lately, she couldn't sleep without some sort of illumination. She thanked her lucky stars that she was alone, affording her the privacy she needed as her nerves calmed.

The datapad on the side table was quietly beckoning her, and Shepard was quick to pick it up. More light flooded from the screen as it was turned on, greeting her with the time and date.

 _It's too damn early_ , she thought, consciously ignoring the year etched in the corner. With a few clicks and swipes, she pulled up the file outlining her last four years. Each subject was as foreign as it would have been without a translator, but what really confused her were the years 2183-2185.

They were left blank, with a giant 'CLASSIFIED' looming back at her.

* * *

"You're doing wonderfully, Commander Shepard. You're almost at the end!"

Shepard let out a haughty laugh and took another shaky step forward. "Breena, you've been saying that ever since my first step. I'm barely half way there," she retorted, looking down the long path in front of her. The supportive bars on either side were the only things keep her upright.

Breena, the young and perky asari aiding her physical therapy, smiled and continued to cheer regardless. "If you continue on the track you've been on, the wheelchair can be forfeited for a walker," she tempted, "And then you're looking towards release by the end of the month!"

"Oh, trust me. I've been counting the days." She took another two steps, testing the threshold of weight she could bounce on her heels. "I cannot wait to eat _actual_ food," she joked.

The session lasted the better part of an hour. Shepard was never good at mindless repetition, and by the end of the mundane exercises, she was getting impatient.

"You can't push yourself too hard, Commander. I'll see what I can do about switching up your routine," Breena promised, helping her into her chair, "You did a great job today."

Shepard let out an audible sigh and finally relaxed, stretching her legs out, "Thanks. I would appreciate that." The walk to her room was quiet, which she appreciated.

But when she finally reached her destination, she asked carefully, "Do you know who composed my history file? There are some questions I have about it."

Brenna set the wheelchair by the side of her bed and turned on the lock. "From what I understand, I think it was forwarded to us by the Alliance," she responded, moving to the adjacent bathroom to run the shower, "Why not ask Major Alenko about it? I'm sure he'll have the answers you're looking for." She quickly returned to unlock Shepard's wheelchair and smiled, "Water's ready. And I set a new pair of clothes on the sink. If you need anything else, just call."

"Thanks, Breena. I'll see you in two days," she nodded, already wheeling towards the accessible bathroom. With Kaidan being an Alliance soldier, and a trusted friend, Shepard saw no reason not to ask him. Still, something held her back from being completely transparent about her amnesia-related questions.

 _I can ask Garrus_ , she thought out of the blue, _He'll be straight with me._

 _I trust him_.

* * *

"I'm here to visit Commander Shepard. I was told she wanted to see me."

Garrus waited patiently as the front desk nurse checked him in and gave his omni-tool temporary access to the appropriate entry points. It was a process he was now _very_ familiar with. He tried his best not to dwell on the fact that if he were still Shepard's guardian, he wouldn't have to deal with the administrative red tape. That wasn't the priority.

As soon as he was cleared, Garrus made his way to Shepard's room. He had visited a handful of times since she woke up, and always in the company of others. He didn't _quite_ trust himself around her. And Kaidan was right; she needed support. Not a heartbroken mate.

The rest of the team seemed to take Shepard's condition in stride, even those she didn't remember. James joked that he could finally have a do-over sparring match and win. Javik blamed the misfortune on her feeble primitive mind and lacking biology. Miranda promised to use her contacts and find a way to speed up Shepard's recovery. Those who couldn't visit were either busy with the recovery effort or were planets away. Most sent notes.

It was actually Jack who had the most trouble accepting Shepard's condition. There was a strange kinship that Garrus felt with the biotic, even though she was unwilling to talk about it.

Shepard's message was a surprise. A small part of him hoped her memories had recovered, or at least, the ones of them. Garrus was sure she knew of their relationship; he wouldn't put it past Kaidan if she didn't. But there were still a century's worth of questions between them, waiting to be addressed, and this was his chance to answer them.

The curtains were drawn over the glass walls of Shepard's room, and the lock over the door was shining red. With a brief wave of his arm, his omni-tool processed his clearance and the lock changed green.

"Shepard?" Garrus called, entering the private suite, "I got your message."

The Commander was sitting in her wheelchair, a paperbound book in her hands. Her dark hair had grown just a few inches since it was completely shaved, and the warm color of her face finally returned. She looked _healthy_ and it soothed Garrus' heart considerably.

"Garrus!" she beamed, closing her book, "I didn't expect to see you so soon."

"I was in the neighborhood," he replied, taking a seat at the small chair beside her bed. "Shopping, actually, for the apartment."

Shepard wheeled closer, a small smile on her lips, "I appreciate it. I know it must…not be easy." She adjusted her posture, the smile wiped from her face as her spine strained under the weight change. "I've been making it hard on everyone, right?" she huffed under her breath.

"Noah—" His mandibles tightened against his face as quickly corrected himself, "Shepard. You saved the world. I think you deserve at least a little bit of selfishness."

Her cheeks warmed as she ran her hand over the back of her neck. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about," she admitted, trying to find the right words, "I read over the timeline Alliance sent me, but there's a lot missing." She lowered her hand and raised her eyes to his, piercing and determined, "You were on my team since the beginning. And from what I remember, you weren't afraid of cutting the bullshit."

Garrus could see the old Shepard, _his_ Shepard, peeking through the amnesia. Still, it was strange to see her cautiously mannered character from four years ago. "What do you want to know?" he asked.

"Everything."

* * *

Garrus spent the rest of the day with Shepard, going over her history. He made sure to include the things the Alliance didn't know, like the grief Shepard felt after sacrificing Ashley at Virmire or the small games of Skyllian-Five she would host in the mess hall. He went over every mission, every team member, telling Shepard all the details he could. The good and the bad, he went over everything.

The only time he paused was when it was time to talk about Shepard's death.

" _I died."_

" _I'm still not sure how Cerberus was able to piece you together. There was a time when you believed you were just a clone or husk," he replied, recalling the vivid nightmares she would have, "But trust me, you are one hundred percent you."_

 _Shepard pursed her lips, picking her nails anxiously as she asked, "I was gone for two years. How was I allowed to continue working and not become…some sort of test subject?"_

" _I don't think the Council acknowledged your death. Anderson pulled a lot of strings to keep things hushed. Officially, you were just undercover investigating the colony disappearances with Cerberus."_

" _And the team? How did they take it?"_

" _It was a mixed bag."_

 _Shepard tilted her head to the side as she asked pointedly, "Then, how did you take it?"_

 _Garrus chuckled and answered dryly, "I quit C-Sec and ran a vigilante group against Omega's biggest mercenary gangs."_

 _She crossed her arms and raised a brow, obviously skeptical of his response, "If you don't want to tell me, that's fine."_

" _It's the truth," he defended, now laughing outright. Thinking about his time as Archangel, emotional wounds no longer raw, was even difficult for him to believe. "Almost died in a joint assault by the Blue Suns, Blood Pack, and Eclipse."_

" _You're serious," she gaped, "How the hell did you get yourself out of that one?"_

 _Garrus motioned to the large scar on the side of his face, "If it weren't for the newly resurrected biotic that saved my ass, I would have gotten a lot worse than just a gunship to the face."_

 _Shepard almost leaned forward to touch the marred tissue, but instead turned her attention to the book still in her lap. "Shit. And even after all that, you still followed me on a suicide mission against the Reapers?"_

" _Shepard, I would have followed you anywhere. Even now."_

Garrus checked out of the hospital at the very end of visiting hours, still going over their conversation as he walked to the rapid transit. According to her doctors, Shepard would be ready for release in just a few weeks. He wondered if the apartment would be ready by then, if she would still want him living with her.

He wondered if his visit did more harm than good.


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: I hope you like this chapter and I would love to hear your thoughts! Let me know if there is something you would like to see happen C:_

* * *

"I have no clue what I'm doing, Sol. Spirits know I wasn't meant to be an interior designer."

Garrus closed the kitchen cabinet he had just completed stocking. There were a mix of different glasses and cups from almost every store at transit length. The rest of the apartment echoed a similar handling of decoration. Nothing really _matched_ , at least by turian standards.

"As much as I enjoy hearing you struggle," Solana's voice lulled through his visor, "You know that wasn't why I called."

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"Wow, is it that bad?" she asked, "I usually have to beg for you to stop talking about Shepard and how _amazing_ and _wonderful_ she is." Her words were light, but there was an undercurrent of concern to them.

Busying himself with unfolding the empty boxes in the kitchen, Garrus answered vaguely, "It could be worse."

There was a pregnant pause before Solana spoke up, "She still doesn't remember."

"No. But the doctor says her memory will come back with time. Physically, she's on the mend, and that's all that matters."

"Varren shit! What's with all this fucking emotional martyrdom? You're allowed to be selfish and upset, and I swear to the spirits, if you screw this up—"

"Sol?"

"Yeah?"

Garrus let out a breath leaned against the kitchen counter. "Have you started watching those horrible drama vids with Mom again?" he asked plainly.

The younger Vakarian, hotheaded and passionate as she was, replied coolly, "Deflect all you want, but you know I have good reason to be worried. If there's any truth in the vids we watch, she'll fall for the first one she sees when she wakes up. You're already off to a bad start."

"Thanks. That's _exactly_ what I need to hear."

"And I know that it isn't really your strong suite, but you should try to lay on the charm. Put on some human pheromones, learn their flirting techniques."

"Sol, I'm ending the call."

"Fine, be that way! Send our love to Shepard and tell her we hope to see her soon."

He knew his sister's warnings were a joke. She always ribbed him at every chance she got. But that didn't ease the growing knot in his stomach.

After powering down his visor in an attempt to gain some peace and quiet, Garrus continued to ready the apartment and did his best to forget Solana's dismal prediction.

* * *

Kaidan ran his fingers over the paperbound book left open on Shepard's bedside table. The pages were littered with personal notes and faded stains. Tape was carefully pressed against tearing seams. He remembered seeing the same book in the original Normandy; it was obviously loved.

Just as he was about to turn the page, the door hissed open. Shepard made her way inside, balanced between two crutches that clicked softly against the hard tiled floor. "Kaidan!" she greeted, pleasantly surprised, "What are you doing here? I didn't know you were visiting today."

"I wanted to see you," he smiled, tearing his focus away from the book. His smile only grew as he watched Shepard navigate around the room on her own. "The doctor told me you wouldn't be out of the chair until the end of the month."

Shepard chuckled, setting the crutches down before easing herself into the bed, "Say what you want about Cerberus, but their implants are definitely worth the credit."

Kaidan took his customary seat beside the bed, scooting the chair as close as he could get. "By this rate, you'll be released by the end of the week," he said, "Which is…what I wanted to talk to you about."

Shepard stuffed a pillow behind her head and sat up against the headboard. "Shoot," she prompted, folding her hands neatly in her lap. She steadied her gaze on her former squad mate, immediately noticing his telltale signs of nervousness.

"Well…I've been offered a leadership position in Vancouver," he started to say, eyes not quite meeting hers as he rubbed the back of his neck. "It's temporary, like all the relief efforts going on right now, but they're asking me to make base there."

"That sounds great, Kaidan. And you'd be closer to your parents," she nodded, "The big cities need all the help they can get, and they can really benefit with your direction. But I don't see how this has to do with my release."

After taking a breath and moment to gather his courage, he reached forward to take her hands in his. "I know you have plans after you're released, but I want you to come with me." He looked down to their hands as he said with uncertainty, "With all that's happened, I feel like I've been given a second chance. And I can fix all the problems we've had in the past. I…" He met her gaze and smiled weakly, "I don't expect an answer right away. I just wanted you to think about it. Think about what…we…can have."

Shepard, whose immediate response was elation, was now experiencing a growing sense of dread. Something didn't sit well with Kaidan's proposal, and Shepard was never one to ignore her gut feeling. She did well to hide her trepidation and simply nodded with a squeeze of his hand, "I'd like to think about it."

* * *

"E-Excuse me, Commander," a particularly stressed attendant said as they entered Shepard's suite, "There is a woman at the front desk demanding to see you, but you haven't cleared any visitors for today."

Shepard looked up from her recently repaired omni-tool and turned off the interface. "Who wants to see me?" she asked, crossing her legs as she sat on her bed.

The salarian replied quickly, "Jacqueline Nought. She says you two are _buddies_."

She mentally filtered through all the logs she read, trying to remember coming across that name. Out of all her immediate squad mates, Jack was the only one who hadn't visited. And from what she heard of her, she was _definitely_ the type to come unannounced.

"Give her clearance," she nodded. But before the salarian even left the doorway, Jack made her way through the hall, trailed by several nurses and guards.

"The amount of security makes this hospital feel like a fucking prison," the heavily tattooed and petite woman scowled, sidestepping the salarian and sauntering into the room, "Can you tell them to stand down or something?" She lifted a large paper bag and grinned, "I come bearing gifts."

"That hasn't been cleared by security," a guard said, making her way to snatch the bag from her.

Shepard envisioned how the next ten seconds could play out and quickly raised her hand to quell them, "There's no need. I asked her to bring me something. Return to your stations."

After a few exchanged glances between the staff, Shepard and Jack were finally left alone. Shepard noticed that the bravado the woman previously displayed was slightly damped as she stalked around her bed. Inked knuckles wound tightly around the paper bag, betraying her unease.

"You remember me?" Jack asked unceremoniously.

Shepard studied her, somewhat reminded of a feral animal ready to strike. Or a mistrustful child returning to an absent parent. "No, I don't," she answered, "I'm sorry."

Something flashed across her face that the commander couldn't quite read. But as fast as it appeared, it was gone. The biotic took a seat at the edge of her bed, kicking off her muddy boots before mimicking Shepard's pose. "Well, one of the things I know about hospitals is that they always serve shit food," she said through clenched teeth, "And, being the always charitable soul I am, I wasn't going to let a fellow biotic suffer through that."

Shepard watched as a variety of containers were emptied from the bag, along with several bottles she had no problem identifying. "Jack, you sure know how to treat a girl," she smirked, claiming one of them, "We'll just have to keep this from the good doctor."

The stiffness in her shoulder's relaxed. "Good to know you haven't changed. I heard you were quite the stickler back in the day," she jested, tossing her a plastic fork

"Oh, when I heard about the things I did…" she chuckled, shaking her head, "I have trouble even believing half of them." She opened the closest container and almost groaned at the smell of smoked brisket and mashed potatoes. "This is a godsend."

Jack shrugged as she opened her own container, "It's no big deal. You would do the same for me." She stabbed her fork into her meal and added, "I never thanked you for your suggestion with my students. They're alive because of you. So, I guess…this is my way of saying thanks…and also saying sorry for not coming sooner."

Shepard swallowed down a particularly large mouthful of potatoes and wiped the corner of her lips with her thumb. "Your students…from Grissom Academy, right?" she asked, and when she saw her eyes light up at the prospect of her remembering, she quickly amended, "I read it on your file."

"Yeah," she said, taking a moment to grab a bite. "They're finally growing into their own. Rodriguez has a knack for the relief efforts going on. I guess her soft, gooey heart isn't a total waste."

"What made you become a teacher?" Shepard asked, opening up another container, "I…get the feeling that teaching wasn't part of your initial life plans."

Jack snorted and scratched behind her ear, keeping her eyes on her food, "Damn, are you going to make me go through this a second time? It was embarrassing enough the first time—"

"Oh, you don't have to—"

"Just, shut up for a second." Jack nibbled on her upper lip as she twisted open a bottle and took a long drink. "You rubbed off me, I guess. All those ridiculous pep talks and personal story sharing…it changed the way I saw things. After we destroyed that Collector base, I wanted to make a difference," she said, "And what better way to do that than train the hopeless biotics at Grissom. With me, they have a fighting chance."

Shepard was already half through her own bottle as she listened. With a nod, she said, "That's about what Garrus told me."

At the chance of steering the conversation away from her, Jack smirked and pointed the neck of her bottle towards her, "You and him still together? Must have been a shock to wake up and find out you're married to his scaly ass."

Shepard swallowed her beer too fast and coughed hard into her sleeve.

"Don't get me wrong," Jack laughed at her reaction, "It's a fine piece of ass. And I've seen the way he fights, holy shit."

Her coughing fit continued as she tried to gather her wits. "M-Married?" she managed to say, taking a smaller sip to soothe her throat.

"You didn't know? Not married, like, in the human sense. But you two are _mated_ , at least, I think that's the word you used."

Shepard reached behind her neck, absent-mindedly rubbing the juncture between her jaw and shoulder. "I knew we were in a relationship, but I never knew how…intimate," she admitted, feeling her face burn, "Shit, I didn't know it was _that_ serious."

The biotic was in stitches, failing her attempts to keep a level face. "Oh hell, you two were far more than just _intimate_ ," she wiggled her brows, "Pretty sure there were a few gossip columns on the extranet about it."

With a groan, she finished her beer and opened a second. "I didn't…I need to apologize to Garrus," she muttered, "I should have…Oh my god."

Jack threw the empty bottle in the paper bag and asked, "What's there to apologize about?"

Shepard remembered her reaction with the first run-through of her history. Luckily, Garrus was not present when Kaidan told her. She wondered why he didn't emphasize how close the two of them were. She was under the impression it was just a one-time thing. "When I found out…I didn't believe it, and I laughed…"

"Well, shit."

* * *

" _Is that all you have to say? You show up after two years and just act like nothing happened? Thought we had something, Shepard. Something real."_

 _Shepard found herself in the middle of a thick crowd, hundreds of arms reaching out to pull her deeper in. She continued to push through, trying to find the source of the voice filling her head._

" _I love you. Thinking you were dead tore me apart. How could you put me through that?"_

 _She shook her head, telling herself she couldn't help it. It wasn't her fault._

" _You can't really believe that! You turned your back on everything we believed in! You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed me."_

 _Her legs began to sink into the ground. The bodies came closer, trapping her tight. She could barely breathe. Shepard screamed, "Kaidan! Save me!"_

 _The crowd began to clear, but she continued to sink. She struggled to keep her head above ground, but dirt and sand threatened to choke her. A sole figure approached, in Alliance blues. They knelt before her and smiled softly, "You've changed. But I still know where my loyalties lie."_

Shepard woke up covered in sweat, gasping for air. She scrambled to sit up and turned towards the space next to her. For a split second, she almost expected to see someone there.

She swallowed hard, ignoring the sudden loneliness she felt, and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "Pull yourself together, soldier," she muttered, shaking her head, "It was just a dream."

 _Right?_

* * *

"Well, it seems like everything is in place for your release tomorrow morning. You already received my referrals for your physical and cognitive therapy, and your dues were covered by the Alliance. The only thing left…" the doctor said, skimming through their datapad, "Is the question of where you'll be staying."

Shepard furrowed her brow, "Do you need to know _now_?"

The doctor looked up from their notes and gave a practiced smile, "We need to have it on record, yes."

"The Alliance is providing me an apartment near the city."

"Ah, yes…" they nodded, tapping a few times on their screen, "And you will be staying there for the immediate future?"

Shepard answered without hesitation.


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: If I had a dollar for every day I didn't work on this story, I would be very rich. Sorry for the delay! I think this miniature plot arc with Kaidan is coming to an end._

* * *

"Watch your step."

Shepard, utilizing her crutches like a catapult, expertly skipped over the short set of stairs leading to the apartment door. "I feel fine," she assured, "I would've thrown the crutches away if you didn't insist on me using them."

"Doctor's order, not mine." Garrus adjusted the stuffed gym bag over his shoulder so he could bring up his omni-tool and unlock the door, "But I'll have to side with them on this one."

Shepard was only a few seconds away from a retort before she stepped inside the newly furnished apartment. It was far smaller than Anderson's apartment on the Citadel, and even the one she had on Intai'sei, but the only memory of home she currently had was of a small, shared mattress tucked away in a dirty alley. Regardless, this new one still rendered her speechless.

The room opened up to a living space, furnished with a couch, table, and modest vid set. On the other side of the room was a kitchenette, its island and cabinets clean and tidy. It would only take a few seconds for someone to walk from one side of the room to the other. But with the limited available space after the war, even this amount was a luxury.

Shepard slowly hobbled through the apartment, spotting hints of Garrus' inhabitance. A pair of turian boots by the door. A dissected, half cleaned sniper rifle on the table. A bunched up blanket and pillow on the couch.

She chose to ignore the sudden pit in her stomach and continued down to a short hall with a single door on either side. One, upon investigation, opened to a modest bathroom. It could fit one person comfortably, with its sink, toilet, and bath-shower combination. The other door opened to a bedroom.

A bed. A dresser. A nightstand. An empty shelf.

"I wasn't sure how you wanted it," Garrus began to say, following her into the room. He set the gym bag on the bed and looked around the space, "I, uh, had a few things set up before you woke, but took it down…"

Shepard gave him a smile before turning her attention to the gym bag. "It's perfect," she assured, opening and emptying its contents, "Really. Thank you for doing this, Garrus. It must…not be easy."

There was a strained minute of silence as she continued to organize her things with Garrus hovering at a respectable distance. She looked down at the pile of clothes, medication, her book, and smuggled snacks from her hospital stay. She had so little in her possession. And while that might have not bothered her before, it felt like she was grasping at straws for any indication of who she was and who she had become.

"I'll let you have some privacy," Garrus finally said, beginning to exit the room.

Before he left, Shepard turned around and asked, "Hey, have you been sleeping on the couch this entire time?"

Garrus met her gaze for a brief moment. "Yeah, well…didn't feel right just assuming," he said vaguely, nodding towards the bed, "I'll be in the living room if you need me."

After the door was shut, she whispered to the empty space, "I'm sorry…"

* * *

"I'm sorry…"

Garrus was sure he wasn't meant to hear Shepard's quiet apology. It wasn't until later in their friendship that she learned how sharp his senses really are.

He took his time returning to his dismantled rifle. There were other things on his mind, questions that didn't have answers. How long did he have until it was expected for him to move out?

 _Should I move out?_

 _Does Noah even want me here?_

Garrus picked up his scope and cleaning cloth, mindlessly going through the motions. _What would Noah do in my place?_ he asked, almost bringing himself to a chuckle.

 _Take one day at a time._

 _And kick each one in the ass._

* * *

Shepard set her things away in a matter of minutes. Her clothes were neatly folded away in the dresser, her book and snacks were placed on the shelf against the wall, and her bottles of medication were lined up on her nightstand. She stared down at the collection of bright orange bottles, and her tongue dried up at the memory of their bitter tastes.

"Maybe I'll put you guys in here," she muttered, opening the nightstand drawer to sweep them in. But a hidden object inside stopped her.

In the drawer was a picture frame. Shepard, chewing her bottom lip, took a seat on the edge of the bed as she lifted the frame from its drawer. Her eyes were glued on the dark screen and the urge to turn it on was crushing. Setting it upright on her nightstand, she powered the frame up and the screen came to life.

The picture was a little fuzzy, as if it was taken from a distance away, but there was Shepard in her Alliance dress blues. She was in a crowd of people, and it didn't take long for her to realize it was a political party, the kind she hated to attend. There was a glass of champagne in her hand, almost drained. And right at her side was Garrus, head thrown back in laughter. Shepard was in stitches, holding onto his arm for support as she laughed with him.

 _Must had been one hell of a joke_ , she guessed, letting her fingers gloss over the image.

She stared at the picture for a few more minutes before returning it to its hidden space.

* * *

"You don't have to walk with me, you know."

"I want to, Shepard. Besides, who is going to make sure you don't take a detour to the nearest club?"

Shepard was slightly out of breath as she came to a stop, leaning against one of her crutches and looking up towards the towering turian. "Shit, Garrus. I can barely walk straight. Do you think I'll be able to dance?" she asked.

His mandibles flared in a half grin as he prodded, "Even when you get healed, I don't think you'll be able to…dance."

Shepard's brows knit together as she regarded his odd jest. Then her dark eyes turned into wide discs. "Have I danced in front of you before?"

"Oh yeah, multiple times on multiple occasions," he nodded, eyeing her warily, "If you can even call it that."

She quickly turned around and laughed, "You were blessed then, to see my dazzling moves." She made her way to a nearby bench and set her crutches down on the ground.

Garrus checked his omni-tool. They would have plenty of time to reach the transit and make her physical therapy session. He followed her to the bench and took a seat on the other end, giving her plenty of space.

Shepard was in the middle of massaging her calves, pressing the pads of her thumbs into the tight muscle. "So, um, there was something I wanted to talk to you about," she said, focusing her eyes on her hands, "About our past relationship."

There was a sudden spike in his subharmonics as Garrus' anxiety rose. "You can ask me anything," he replied, keeping his voice calm.

Her tongue darted out between her lips, licking them nervously as she turned to face him head-on. "Were we _married_?" she asked, and as soon as the first question came out, more spilled, "How intimate were we? Like, _really_ intimate? Like, do you know about the mole on my ass shaped like a heart?" Her tone began to change from tense to worried. "Did we share a room? A _bed_? Did I… Did I tell you that I—"

"Hang on a second—" he said, raising his hands to calm her. He knew she was approaching a very delicate line between scared and panic. "Yes, _yes_ to all of it," he answered softly, enclosing her motioning hands between his, "It took years to get to that point, so I know it's hard for you to accept it _now_. But Shepard, the answer is _yes_. And if it takes another few years to get there again…I will be with you every step of the way."

Her hands were practically shaking as the reality of their situation set in. But her voice was strong, "I told you everything, didn't I?" She took a breath, withdrew her hands, and reached down for her crutches. "I'm sorry, Garrus. I should get going to my session. The transit's not that far and you don't have to pick me up afterwards."

"Shepard—"

"Really. It's a short walk. And, I need some space," she said, standing up and facing him. "I'm sorry, but when I hear things like that…about how I used to be, and I don't have any idea how I got there…" She cleared her throat and looked towards the sun, eyes squinting, "It's weird."

She turned back to Garrus and gave him a half smile and salute, "I'm going to go. But I'll see you tonight. Promise."

* * *

" _Hey, this is Shepard's personal line. Leave a message."_

Kaidan ended the call. _What time is it over there?_ he wondered, looking over the piles of boxes around his new apartment, _She must be busy_.

He would be lying if he said Shepard's decision to stay with Garrus didn't bruise his ego. With her memory gone, and the mistakes of his past wiped clean, he thought he would at least have a fighting chance. But the lonely flight to Vancouver only stressed his defeat, and it was hard _not_ to think of what he lost.

Before overthinking it, Kaidan opened up a chat line with Shepard and sent a short message.

They were still friends. And friends sent each other messages.

* * *

Garrus woke up to the sound of beeping. A soft ping could be heard emanating from Shepard's room every five minutes, indicating an unchecked message on her datapad. And knowing how heavy of a sleeper she could be, Garrus knew it would continue to beep until morning.

"Spirits," he grumbled, easing himself off the couch. This had to be dealt with.

A quick stretch and a few bumps into the furniture later, he found himself in Shepard's room. The door was wide open and the lights were on. The exhausted biotic, worn out from her physical therapy, was conked out with a book draped over her face.

"Noah…" he sighed, gingerly taking the paperback from her and setting it on the nightstand. He drew the covers over and tucked her in, careful not to wake her. Just as he was about to move her unruly hair from her face, another beep interrupted him.

Garrus narrowed his eyes at the offending datapad and picked it up, inputting the memorized passcode without a second thought. And just as he was remembering they weren't at that point of their relationship anymore, the damage was already done. Bright illuminated letters were shining back at him, accompanied by a smug looking face in the small square of an icon.

Was it smug? Garrus still couldn't read humans as well as he could read Shepard.

His eyes darted towards the delete button at the corner of the screen, and then moved to Shepard sleeping on the bed. "Damn," he muttered, pressing the palm of his hand to the plates of his forehead. He set the datapad down, leaving the message as it was.

Shepard, regardless of the memories she lost, still had her own life. He had no right to dictate how she lived it, then or now.

* * *

It was early morning by the time Shepard woke up. She sat up and was greeted with aches and pains from her physical therapy sessions. Gritting her teeth through them, she looked around the bed for her book.

"How did you get there?" she asked as she saw it neatly set on her nightstand. Instead of reaching for it, she grabbed the datapad out of habit. It was her daily morning ritual: wake up, check the time, read over messages, then get news updates on the extranet.

The unanswered message from Kaidan immediately grabbed her attention. Ever since she declined his offer, there was a strange guilt that came with thoughts of him. _No hard feelings_ , he said, but it still felt like she gave the wrong answer.

 _02:18 KA: How's the new apartment? Missing you._

Shepard rolled back into bed, pulling the covers over her as she debated what to write back.

 _07:28 NS: Very nice. I miss you too. How is Vancouver?_

She was in the middle of reading an article about the relief efforts when a response came in.

 _07:36 KA: Vancouver's exactly the same, if you don't count the crumbling buildings and giant Reaper husks. I met up with my parents – they say hi._

 _07:37 NS: By the sound of it, Vancouver's just the same as London! Extend my greetings to the folks._

 _07:38 KA: I will._

 _07:38 KA: How's life with Garrus? Everything going well?_

 _07:42 NS: As well as it could be going. I feel like we're both walking on eggshells…and that I'm missing a huge part of an inside joke. Physical therapy's been a pain in the ass – literally. My whole body is on fire._

 _07:44 KA: I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure things will get better soon. These sorts of things take time. As for the physical therapy…good luck with that!_

 _07:45 NS: You are such an ass._

 _07:45 NS: And thanks._

 _07:56 KA: If things don't work out over there, let me know. My offer is still on the table. It will always be on the table, Noah._

Shepard felt her heart beating hard against her chest. Even years later, it still felt like the beginning when it was easy for him to tug at her heartstrings. She remembered all the nights they shared, the early mornings in each other's arms. Fits of passion that battled the frequent fights, how he left her on Horizon—

 _Horizon._

Shepard locked her datapad and sat up, cursing under her breath as her ribs ached again. There were only flashes. Brief words and emotions that clouded her memory with only a rough sketch of an entire picture. But she knew she was hurt, and that the encounter caused the end of something good.

 _Horizon_.

The word left a sour taste in her mouth.


End file.
